“Breaking through the snowy haze, you finally reach Everest’s summit.
The guttural shout startles you.
You turn and see a massive ape-like humanoid engaged in a furious repetition of crunches.
"Bro, you think you can spot me in a little bit??"
You cannot contain your surprise as the monster quickly transitions to side planks, without missing a beat.
“The rumors were true all along,” you say to yourself, “finally we have irrefutable proof…the Abdominal Snowman really DOES exist…”
-Excerpt from Reinhold Messner’s collection of fan fiction entitled, “When I Finally Get to Fuck Bigfoot…”
“don’t let nobody find ya”